welcome, yo.
I don't know how you managed to stumble upon this blog, but yeah hello anyway. Feel free to explore and leave a tag, even though i know my tagboard's filled with nothing but adverts now. /:CHERYL♥AVIARY;
CHERYL♥AVIARY;
Hi there. The name's CHERYL. Was in Pasir Ris Primary, St. Hilda's Secondary and Temasek Polytechnic's Veterinary Technology, currently in Nanyang Technological University's Biological Sciences. A '96 baby getting older every year on 26th May. Started this blog when i was Primary 5, and i refuse to delete it cos it holds all my memories, both good and bad. (: |
Thoughts during the China trip. (25/03/15)
Monday, 30 March 2015 @ 03:32
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I have a problematic clique. Not that they give me alot of problems, but rather how each and every one of us (maybe except QQ) have our own problems, so there's always at least one person upset at a certain point of time. What about me? For me, it's a little complicated. It's not exactly my problem, but i'm involved in it. So do i have a problem too? I'm not too sure myself.
I shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place. Sure, it has brought me lots of good memories, but it has also brought along painful moments to the both of us. And this stupid mind of mine always has this debate on whether i really want it or not. When things do happen, i feel happy. But when nothing happens and i have some time for my brain to run freely, i start thinking of the things we've done and be all "What did i just do? Why did i do that? What have i become?" Maybe it's just part and parcel of maturing; getting curious of such stuff which i never experienced before, trying them out etc. But gradually i'd go back to questioning myself.
I tried stopping once, but some way or another i got sucked back in. I gave in to temptation, maybe. Body over mind. I'm gonna stop it again, and this time i shall be more determined. Hopefully this doesn't spoil our friendship, cos it'll get difficult since we're in the same clique.
As for you, i'm sorry for everything that i've done. You always tell me that you're thankful that i chose to do this, cos it brings alot of fond memories. That's true, but i brought you bad memories as well. I made you cry countless of times. I don't want to be the one who makes you upset anymore. Perhaps if i hadn't started anything, you would have lost your feelings for me 3 months ago. I've dragged this for too long and you've fallen too deep, so i'm just hoping that you're still able to climb back up and move on.. I'm thankful for the love and affection you've given to me; no one has ever seem to have loved me this much before. Not even my past boyfriends.
And as for my dear Squishies, i love you guys so much too, thank you for opening me up and being there for me when i needed someone to talk to. You guys are so open, it makes me more comfortable to talk about anything and everything. I'm sorry for still being a little conservative, cos i've always been like this for 19 years. Antonio, Amos, Qianqian, Sam and Jacquelyn..i love y'all so freaking much. :')
On a side note, my year 2.2 semester results are gonna be released on the 1st April. I did really badly this time, like legit REALLY BADLY. So i'm hoping for the best i can attain. Sigh. Should i even still aim for vet? Or should i go for vet tech? Or just nothing related to that..?
--------- a few minutes after typing those -----------
They're all drinking. Idk why but i have this sense of disappointment in them. It's not like i've never seen them drink before, i really dk why but when i see them all like that i just felt really worried and disappointed..what happened to "i don't like beer"? Sigh...i don't know why am i like this...i shouldn't be upset, it's their body, their choice. Who am i to say anything?
Maybe this is what Ms Koh meant when she said we were the outcasts..they all seem to be against us..