welcome, yo.
I don't know how you managed to stumble upon this blog, but yeah hello anyway. Feel free to explore and leave a tag, even though i know my tagboard's filled with nothing but adverts now. /:CHERYL♥AVIARY;
CHERYL♥AVIARY;
Hi there. The name's CHERYL. Was in Pasir Ris Primary, St. Hilda's Secondary and Temasek Polytechnic's Veterinary Technology, currently in Nanyang Technological University's Biological Sciences. A '96 baby getting older every year on 26th May. Started this blog when i was Primary 5, and i refuse to delete it cos it holds all my memories, both good and bad. (: |
School's officially starting in two days' time omg.
Saturday, 20 April 2013 @ 23:56
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I know i know, having more holidays can be really boring since we alr had 5 months of it. But it's a new environment and new style of learning. I feel like i'll be really lost. I'm really dreading it.
Just hope that i can cope, as well as enjoy my poly life. I still don't know if i should join a CCA because i'm so afraid that i'll have no time to study. My dad makes sense when he says "You should join a CCA so poly life won't be all study study study. It's more enriching." But i feel like it's gonna be tiring and i won't be able to cope. He says, "If others can, so can you." But i am not others. I'm the kind who crumbles when there's too much stress. I cry when i get too stressed, i know.
Back in the early secondary school days when i had to do my homework till past 12am (it was alr considered very late), i'd just do until i start crying. It sucked because i knew that i wasn't in the worst situation, but somehow i just felt so stressed i kept crying. It made me feel so useless. When i first began to stay up till 2am, i cried too. I didn't want to, but i just did. I seriously don't understand why i couldn't finish my work up till that time while others could. Other people would be snoring by 12am while i would be sitting alone in the living room scribbling Chinese words (idk why but i remember that one of those days it was Chinese homework that kept me up) and crying. I was so tired and crying didn't help at all.
Wait why am i talking about this? I sidetracked woops.
So yeah, really dreading school, dreading Monday, dreading lectures, dreading lessons, everything. I don't want to stay at home, but i don't want to go to school either/: Perhaps travelling would be good. Watching SHINee's Wonderful Day makes me feel like going overseas so damn badly ):
Anyway, today's just one of those nights when i feel so lousy all of a sudden, and i'd start thinking of all the bad things about myself (maybe that's why i started talking about my crying and shit hahah. Forgive me for sounding like such a wimp). Hate these nights, it's like you have no reason to cry but you want to cry but you can't cry any tears out..then it becomes a really weird feeling inside cos everything's bottled up. But then again there's no content to be spilt out. Contradicting and confusing, i know...thats why this feeling sucks so bad. Because there's nothing you can do to help make yourself feel better.
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Do I really have an interest for animals?
Friday, 19 April 2013 @ 00:31
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I realised probably nearly my ENTIRE class has/had at least a dog/hamster. Me? Fish. And my parents take care of the fish (clean the tanks etc), not me. I only feed them. Then the moment Amos asks if anyone's interested to volunteer at some pet thing, EVERYONE SAYS YES. It scares me because i've never seen such a big response before. I'm interested la, but a part of me doesn't feel like going because there's a fortnightly dedication and it costs $30 (call me a cheapo i won't deny) aaaaaand i feel like somehow i won't be of any help there. The rest are experienced, they've taken care of animals before. But i have zero experience. ZERO.
I don't know....what if i merely like animals just because they're cute? What if i was too impulsive on choosing vet just because i wanted to avoid JC, so somehow i made myself think that i'm aspiring to be a vet in the future? What if when i finally get the chance to take care of animals, i realise i don't like it? I try to believe in myself that i really love animals and want to take care of them. But sometimes all these thoughts just flood my brain and i can't help but feel like that..which sucks cos it makes me feel like i shouldn't have gone to vet course cos i don't deserve to be there or i don't belong there.
God please show me that i've made the right choice. I feel so horrible now.
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Orientation!
Thursday, 18 April 2013 @ 00:35
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First day, 15/4/13:
It started off pretty boring and awkward, because i didn't know a single soul in the same lecture theatre as me. It was boring cos the course manager was giving a little powerpoint presentation to introduce TP, like all the important people we should know and stuff. Honestly i was trying to stay awake (i'm sorry i can't really stay awake in such talks HAHA) throughout and i was so glad when it was over hahahah. Anyway, i made friends with two girls , Javier and Abigail. Initially i talked to Javier cos she came in w me, but then she found Abigail who was her secondary school friend so yeah naturally they talked tgt more while i sat beside them haha. Wasn't too bad la i'm not blaming them for not talking to me or whatever HAHA.
Then VeT (Veterinary Technology in short) was split into two classes: K1 and K2. I, together with Javier and Abigail, were in K1 so yay :D Then we were brought to another LT where more classes were tgt and we were a big...group called OZZOCI (oh-zo-chee) which is actually a monkey hahahah. The other groups had eagle, snake, deer...idk if i missed out any haha. Idk their group name though.
So basically after that we played ice breaker games, learnt cheers blah blah. Wasn't thaaaat fun for the first day.
Second day, 16/4/13:
Actually it's more of second evening, not second day. Cos we started at 6.30pm. Why so late, you ask? Because the second day's program was throughout the night. Yes, THROUGHOUT. No sleep at all.
So we had a mass dance which was unexpectedly pretty enjoyable. Idk why but i just kept laughing non-stop (maybe because Selene near me kept laughing as well and her laugh is pretty contagious) while dancing LOL. The dance was pretty cute and fun, but they made us dance with guy partners. I mean, it's okay if you've got a fun partner la anyw there's bound to be one day where you have to have more contact w guys righttt. Anyw, my first partner was so quiet i didn't even get to ask what his name was. Maybe i should have taken the initiative la hahaha. My second partner was an ultra tall guy who was more open, but we didn't really talk as well, we just laughed at each other LOL. But he was SO TALL that when we did the spinning part, i was TIP-TOEING while spinning HAHA. My third partner was Shara so it wasn't that bad la hahahah. She and i kept laughing as well. By the end of the dance i was all flushed and perspiring like hell. Never knew a simple dance could make us sweat so much oh gosh hahah.
After the dance it was our night Amazing Race! Well it wasn't really a race, just more of going station to station and doing tasks. Most stations weren't that bad...except for our second last one.
Basically, it was a 1-on-1 scissors-paper-stone battle between another class. There are 6 rounds, and each round has: bittergourd, lemon syrup, milo powder, coffee powder, sugar, and salt respectively. So, the winner of the scissors-paper-stone will roll a dice to determine the number of spoonfuls the loser has to eat. So let's say if you lose the first round and the winner rolls a 3, you have to eat 3 spoonfuls of bittergourd. And you can't swallow it, you'll have to keep it in your mouth. So you'll just continue accordingly while accumulating whatever you have to eat, till the last round (after salt). At the end, you're supposed to add a little water into your mouth to liquify it, then spit out everything into a 1.5litre bottle. EVERYONE HAS TO DO THAT. So you can imagine what a disgusting mess it is in the bottle (and outside the bottle, cos it's not easy to spit bittergourd chunks and powder lumps into the small bottle neck). The class that fills the bottle first wins. GROSS ISN'T IT. That isn't the end.
Eventually, our class lost. The winner group, surprisingly, had to drink a little concoction, i have no idea why though. So they shared a cup of milo + coffee + a little of their final spat-out mixture . Well the losers would definitely get a worse punishment, right? YES. We had to drink a mixture of both bottles' mixtures. So that's like, bitttergourd, lemon syrup, milo powder, coffee powder, sugar, salt, and approx, 20 people's saliva in that concoction.
Surprisingly, it wasn't thaaaat bad to me, i could at least swallow it LOL. SURPRISINGLY. Because the thought of drinking it alr made me feel like puking LOL. But i bravely drank it hahahaha. Alot of my friends couldn't take it, so i had to drink more so they didn't need to drink so much. Selene, Cheryl Lim and i were the only ones who could swallow it i think. I only tasted mainly lemon syrup, which wasn't that bad to me HAHAHAH.
After Amazing Race it was alr the end, so we just got changed (we got drenched in one of the stations) then we went home. By then it was alr 7am+, so i got home around 8am and i went to bed around 9am hahhah.
So yeah that's the end, we're left with two more orientation days before school officially starts ): Dreading it like seriously oh gosh.
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School's starting soon..
Friday, 12 April 2013 @ 02:33
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That part of me that wants to go to school feels BORED at home. I'm seriously just sitting in front of the computer all day, watching dramas like i mentioned in my previous post. I mean yeah, i did do some other stuff like make early grey cookies with Manqin and cook dinner (porridge, aaaas usuaaalllll) for parents occasionally, but that's all that i do.
I hardly go out, cos no one asks me out and i didn't ask anyone out either. Thats why i feel like going back to school. Back in secondary school i hated it when our holidays end, but thats because we don't feel the boredom in those holidays. Why? Because they're always flooded with loads of "holiday homework". But this particular holiday, approximately 5 months long, has no homework to take up our holiday. It's 5 months of freedom. Of course, it feels really awesome to rest without worries, but as soon as it reaches the 4th or 5th month of the holiday it gets really boring. And that's for me, who occupied myself with work earlier. Imagine if i didn't get a job. So yeah thats why a part of me wants to go back to school.
The other part of me dreads going to school because it's a new environment. I'm not a social butterfly, or an extrovert, or an outspoken person or whatever that makes it easy to socialise. I'm really afraid of the loneliness i may feel in my new school. I'm not the kind who can easily go up to someone and say, "Hey, i'm Cheryl. What's your name?" okay maaaaybe i can say that, but what comes after? I have no idea. "Wanna hang out" ? Or "Let's be friends" ? Idk how to continue the conversation, i'd probably just give that awkward .okaaaaaay. nod and keep quiet...and make the entire atmosphere awkward.
I heard from Sandra that Arabel from my primary school is in the same course as me. Initially, for just a second, i was kinda happy to know that there's someone i know in my course. But after that, it just hit me that i'm not close to Arabel. I probably only said "Hi" to her and nothing else in primary school..i don't remember talking to her. So yeah, idk if it'll be awkward seeing her. I hope not, i mean after all it's like making a new friend since we were just acquaintances in primary school, right? Ah idk, idk how to approach her anyw..i have a problem approaching popular people. Somehow i just keep thinking that popular people would look down on me /: I know i know, self esteem issues. But i can't help it. I tend to feel very...low-class when i see popular kids.
But Sandra says Arabel's very friendly. So i guess it should be fine..? Ah who knows maybe Arabel doesn't even remember me/:
But anyway apart from all those. I really really REALLY hope i won't have troubles opening up to others, especially on the first day. I guess i'll have to participate in those cheers and activities enthusiastically in order to fit in. Cos if not, i'll probably have no friends. Idk, thats what i'm thinking at the moment hahaha.
Ohwell, just hope for the best then. (: So far everyone who has gone for their orientations seem to have had lots of fun, so i hope i will too!
Update at 4.22am: Changed blogskin yay! Gosh this took me so long to do (i'm not really good at such stuff; i'm still trying to find out how i can put my photo in the profile section. Shall try that some other day) and i just remembered i'm meeting Manqin at 12pm tomorrow and the latest i should wake up is about 10.30am so...I ONLY HAVE 6 HOURS OF SLEEP LEFT OMG.
Second update the next day, 3.56pm: YES i managed to put my photo. Genius me yayyyy. Okay not genius i don't deserve that title haha
Update at 4.22am: Changed blogskin yay! Gosh this took me so long to do (i'm not really good at such stuff; i'm still trying to find out how i can put my photo in the profile section. Shall try that some other day) and i just remembered i'm meeting Manqin at 12pm tomorrow and the latest i should wake up is about 10.30am so...I ONLY HAVE 6 HOURS OF SLEEP LEFT OMG.
Second update the next day, 3.56pm: YES i managed to put my photo. Genius me yayyyy. Okay not genius i don't deserve that title haha