Profile Tagboard Archives Affiliates Extra







welcome, yo.
I don't know how you managed to stumble upon this blog, but yeah hello anyway. Feel free to explore and leave a tag, even though i know my tagboard's filled with nothing but adverts now. /:
CHERYL♥AVIARY;
blogger counter
School's officially starting in two days' time omg.
Saturday, 20 April 2013 @ 23:56
So orientation's over. Which means school, as in lessons and all, are beginning real soon.

I know i know, having more holidays can be really boring since we alr had 5 months of it. But it's a new environment and new style of learning. I feel like i'll be really lost. I'm really dreading it.

Just hope that i can cope, as well as enjoy my poly life. I still don't know if i should join a CCA because i'm so afraid that i'll have no time to study. My dad makes sense when he says "You should join a CCA so poly life won't be all study study study. It's more enriching." But i feel like it's gonna be tiring and i won't be able to cope. He says, "If others can, so can you." But i am not others. I'm the kind who crumbles when there's too much stress. I cry when i get too stressed, i know.

Back in the early secondary school days when i had to do my homework till past 12am (it was alr considered very late), i'd just do until i start crying. It sucked because i knew that i wasn't in the worst situation, but somehow i just felt so stressed i kept crying. It made me feel so useless. When i first began to stay up till 2am, i cried too. I didn't want to, but i just did. I seriously don't understand why i couldn't finish my work up till that time while others could. Other people would be snoring by 12am while i would be sitting alone in the living room scribbling Chinese words (idk why but i remember that one of those days it was Chinese homework that kept me up) and crying. I was so tired and crying didn't help at all.

Wait why am i talking about this? I sidetracked woops.

So yeah, really dreading school, dreading Monday, dreading lectures, dreading lessons, everything. I don't want to stay at home, but i don't want to go to school either/: Perhaps travelling would be good. Watching SHINee's Wonderful Day makes me feel like going overseas so damn badly ):


Anyway, today's just one of those nights when i feel so lousy all of a sudden, and i'd start thinking of all the bad things about myself (maybe that's why i started talking about my crying and shit hahah. Forgive me for sounding like such a wimp). Hate these nights, it's like you have no reason to cry but you want to cry but you can't cry any tears out..then it becomes a really weird feeling inside cos everything's bottled up. But then again there's no content to be spilt out. Contradicting and confusing, i know...thats why this feeling sucks so bad. Because there's nothing you can do to help make yourself feel better.