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CHERYL♥AVIARY;
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China students O:
Thursday, 5 August 2010 @ 22:42
Ah, sorry for MIA-ing . :X Well yeah nothing much to talk about, except that the China students arrived in SG since last Sunday. And yes, my buddy, Zi Tong, is coming over to sleep at my house tomorrow night. I don't know if its gonna be awkward. Suspect it will. I don't know how to entertain her. I don't know what to talk to her about. Even today, she was trying to tell me about a certain ride in the Universal Studio. And i didn't know what she was talking about. She was saying "Universal Studio" in Chinese. I didn't know. Until i finally guessed it.. I felt so pathetic. Why don't I know about my country? Zi Tong was like, damn surprised . What kind of HMT student am I. I don't deserve to be there. I can't even converse in Chinese! Everytime, i get stuck somewhere just because I don't know how to say that certain word in Chinese. Its freaking paiseh la . I'm just pulling down the standards of HMT class.. But at the same time, i don't wanna go to Normal MT. I can't.. Even if i drop, i'd probably do just as badly. My chinese sucks so much, that i only know words that i learn. Which also means that if i drop to NMT, i won't even know like, 50% of the words they have learnt.

My life is pathetic. Pathetic shit.
Nothing goes well.
Geog and History dropped. Geog - Failed for the paper, but barely passed for overall. History - Barely passed the paper. I don't know about overall.

English? Speechless. Used to top the class for the compre papers. Now ? Failing/just passed. Last term, i was the second last person . Can you believe it? From top, to last? Does anyone even understand how hurt and depressed i feel ? Who can I talk to ? So what if i talk to someone about it? It doesn't help, it doesn't help..

Now, all i can do is to wait for my other results to come back . The only subject i'm doing rather well in is Science . Wow. Wow.

I don't know..I don't know..... I seriously hate my screwed up life. I have a loving family, but why am i still like that? I shouldn't be. I should be a happy girl leading a happy life . My friends around me have not-so-good family background. They're in worse cases than me. I should be feeling happy i have a good family. I am happy . But only happy because of that. The other parts of my life sucks.


Is this what you think of me? No, i don't hate you. I really don't. I am not disgusted of you or whatever.. You are a really good friend to me. Are you saying you think i've been fake friends with you for like, 1 and a half years? Why would i do that? You're like the closest guy friend i have in SHSS.. Argh, i'm sorry about what i've done alrights. But i really have no choice. I don't wanna break anyone's heart anymore... Its a great impact which i can't keep taking again and again.. I'm a jinx, you understand? A jinx.. Everyone with me gets hurt... I'm sorry... Gosh, why... I feel like crying. After reading your post...